Tuesday, 25 August 2009

  • Does... that mean he's neither? - Poker Night

    Have any idea what its like to play poker with my friends? You don’t?! well let me tell ya how it usually goes down.  Of recent a good friend of mine, well, by good I mean he wont leave me alone. Anyways my friend Raiden suggested that perhaps I should hold a poker night at my house on Wednesday. 
    I shook my head in aggravation, “ Raiden, I don’t even know anyone who likes to play poker.” 
    “ I like to play poker.” Raiden answered quickly. 
    I sighed, “ Yes… I know you like to play poker Raiden. But that’s just one person, you need at least five for it to be fun.” I waited for Raiden to reply, instead he pulled out his usp silenced pistol. 
    “ Did you hear that?” 
    I looked around uncomfortably, “ Hear what Raiden?” 
    “ Its like being in a nightmare you can’t wake up from!” Raiden raised his gun and began to check my house for intruders. I followed behind him slowly, praying he would leave me alone with every step he took. 
    “ Are you sure you should be carrying around all that military equipment Raiden? isn’t that, you know, illegal?” 
    Raiden looked at me with his fierce eyes, he fixed his long blonde hair and leapt into my basement. 
    “ Don’t worry about me Axel, I’ve had loads of training in VR. I’m like a super hero…” 
    I followed Raiden into the basement, “ You see, its that over confidence that’s worrying me right now.” 
    “ Is there any nerds in your house?”  
    I stared at Raiden blankly, “ Well… I guess… in a way I’m a nerd…” Raiden shook his head, 
    “ No! Not nerds! Nodes!” 
    “ Raiden, you said nerds man.”  I flicked on the lights to my basement. “ You seem tired, maybe you want to go home… and like… leave me alone.” 
    “ HAHA! Yeah good one Axel. I definitely think this basement will do well for poker night.” Raiden placed his pistol back into its holster and looked at my basement in awe. 
    I gritted my teeth, “ We still need people to play with.” 
    “ Don’t worry, I’ll bring over my friends.” 
    And so, that’s how it happened. Somehow that Raiden fellow managed to con me into letting six other people, including himself, spend the entire night in my basement playing poker. 
    It’s a night I will never forget, partly because I recorded it. I wanted to show you people via you tube. Unfortunately Snake didn’t want his face on you tube, so instead I figured I’d write it out. 
    The night consisted of Raiden, Solid Snake, Link, Nero, Cloud, Frank the rabbit and myself sitting at a table  playing poker. It was something you really had to see to believe. I mean, I was sitting next to Cloud Strife, the Cloud Strife. 
    But the night itself was surprisingly not as crazy as I would’ve hoped. The name of the game was five card draw, the reason being that Link wouldn’t let anyone else be the dealer. 
    I asked him, “ Hey Link, what’s up man? You don’t trust anyone here?” I was trying to be funny, I mean he is my all time idol, I wanted to impress him. Instead he just stared at me, then he looked over at Frank and let out a sigh. I let out an uncomfortable laugh and went silent. 
    And silent I remained for the duration of the evening. That didn’t stop everyone else from talking though, it was as if I wasn’t even there. We played a round, Raiden chuckled when everyone thought he was bluffing. 
    “ Royal flush!” He said loudly slamming his cards onto the table. Snake let out a growl, and Frank shook his head. 
    “ That’s not a flush.” Frank stated calmly.
    Raiden looked at snake, who shifted his eyes uncomfortably 
    “ What? Yes it is! Cloud isn’t this?” 
    Cloud shook his head, “ No, its not.” He said calmly. Cloud crossed his arms and stared down at his cards. “ Not like it matters, I didn’t get anything good anyway. I’m not fit to win at anything…” Nero, who had buried his ears with his head phones smirked.
    “ This games boring me to tears.” He threw down his cards, “ three of a kind. Learn how to play kids.” 
    Raiden scratched his head, “ What does three of a kind mean?” 
    “ It means you have three cards sharing the same face…” Frank growled.
    “ Ok dude, seriously I’d be taking you way more seriously if you took of the stupid rabbit suit.” Raiden said, obviously aggravated. 
    I summoned up the courage to speak, “Why do you where that thing anyway?”
    Frank looked at me, his theme song began to play, “ Why do you where that human suit?” 
    Snake, Nero, and Cloud all looked up, “ What?” They said simultaneously. Link let out a groan and stood up from his seat.  
    “ Leaving so soon?” Nero said playfully. “ I think I might join you.”  The night wasn’t going smoothly I couldn’t blame them. 
    Snake laughed and shook his head, “ I guess we know who the real men at this table are.” 
    Nero turned around quickly, “ What did you say old timer?” 
    “ I’m not a man…” Cloud said weakly, “ I don’t deserve to be called a man…” 
    Raiden looked at him a little confused, “ Does, that mean you’re a woman?” 
    “ I said, men stay and finish a game, dogs run away with their tales between their legs.” Snake answered Nero calmly. 
    “ You better watch yourself, before I’m inclined to teach you a lesson.” Nero reached for his gun as he spoke. 
    “ I don’t deserve to be called a women…” Cloud stood up from his seat and stared off into the distance, “ I don’t deserve to be called anything.” 
    Raiden looked at me, “ Does… that mean he’s neither?” I shrugged my shoulders. 
    “ Nice hair kid, the white defiantly makes you look older.” Snake stood up. 
    Nero smiled, “ You’ve got guts old man, I’ll give you that.” 
    “ Hey snake is this a good hand?” Raiden asked quickly. 
    “ What do you plan on doing kid? You’ve only got six shots in that over grown gun of yours.”
    The face off between Snake and Nero ended with Snake using his CQC and knocking the demon hunter out before he could make a move. All in all I’d say the night was pretty good, aside from the fact that Frank probably wants to kill me and Link thinks I’m a total idiot. 
    I don’t think Snake will be coming over again any time soon, as for Nero, he’s actually spending the night, along with Raiden. We’ll see how this goes. 

    Well I just wanted to share with you how my life was going, hope we get to talk again in the future. Later - Axel 

Friday, 21 August 2009

  • This Would Be Alot More Fun If You'd Stop Stabbing - Top Five Video Games

    Ok so I promised myself that I would be posting up blogs every other day. That ended  quickly, not because I got lazy. Simply because other things came up, like trying to avoid Raiden in the afternoons. Attempting to make Link talk even though I know for a fact he wont. Killing vampires because they suck. 
    But, thankfully, in the midst of all the horrible confusion and chaos, I have managed to write another blog about nothing. Prepare to waist  a few minutes, because today we are going to talk about something I love, video games. 
    If you never have played a VG that’s fine, this is the best place to dip your toes into that world of awesome. For those of you who have played video games, recap with me wont you? 
    Do you remember when you bought a game you weren’t sure about? You know, you go to the store and find this game that looks interesting so your like, 
    “ Well… this looks cool. But is it worth thirty dollars?” So you put it back on the shelf and walk over to GameStop, or amazon.com. There you find that thirty dollar game for five bucks and decide its time to buy it.  So you do. 
    At first there’s nothing that special about it, but then slowly, with time, you become an addict. That game becomes your life. When the attractive females come over you turn them away. 
    They ask you, “ Why?! Don’t you want to go with us and have fun?!” Then you turn to them and say, 
    “ Well… are you a video game?” 
    The females look at each other a little confused, “ Uh, no, we’re not video…” 

    “ THEN NO!!” 

    Ok, I’m probably the only one that’s ever done that, but still… you get really wrapped up in this game and eventually you draw near to its end. Your eyes widen, your heart races a thousand paces, and finally you reach the ending! The climax!
    And for once, it doesn’t disappoint, after you beat that game your just left sitting in your seat saying, 
    “ Wow… I cant believe its over.” 
    The games ending is so good that it makes you wish there were sequels, so you go online and check. Don’t you remember those games? They’re so freaking awesome. that’s what I’m talking about today, I love video games and over the past few years I’ve played quiet a few. Now, I’d like to share with you some of the most memorable game endings in the world, or at least in my world. 
    If you haven’t played video games, listen! This is where you should start:
    ( Note, this list isn’t ranked best to worst, they just sort of came out.)

    1. Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker, Abbreviation: LOZ:WW, Platform: Game Cube, Why its on here?
    I’ve played a lot of Legends that involve Zelda. I’m proud to say that I have studied or played almost every single one, even those crappy ones that no one knows about. So why, out of all the other Zelda’s, have I choose this one to be in the spot light? Most lean towards Majora’s Mask or Ocarina of Time ( Both LOZ games on the N64). But the art style, story, and wonderful game play brought Wind Waker to the top of my list. 
    Like many I was put off by this games cartoon style at first. But once you start playing, you cant get enough. Its by far one of the best games I’ve ever played, and that ending doesn’t disappoint. 
    You spend the entire game slowly powering up so you can fight this horrible bad guy names Gannon, and then finally you get to have a showdown with him. It first starts with a boss that acts like a test, making you use every trick you’ve gotten throughout the entire game. Then, finally, you fight Gannon, while you do the entire world around you is getting flooded with water. It’s intense, its crazy, and surprisingly its actually hard. I died once, that usually doesn’t happen when I play some legend. 
    So if you have a game cube, pick this puppy up. It wont disappoint. 

    2. Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns Of The Patriots, Abbreviation: MGS4, Platform: PS3 ( Play station 3) and hopefully Xbox360, why is it one here? 
    Anyone who’s played any Metal Gear game has to give props to Hideo Kojima. He’s brilliantly brilliant. Every one of his games will blow your socks off. 
    The story in Metal Gear Sold 4 is just amazing, you might be a little lost if you haven’t played any other MGS  game before, but that doesn’t mean you should blow it off. This story holds its own, and makes you weep as the epic tale of Solid Snake comes to its dramatic conclusion. 
    The ending is just amazing, from making you crawl through a giant microwave hall while you watch your character slowly getting fried by the heat, to the final epic fight with your brother and arch nemeses on top of a ship in the sunset. 
    Its just amazing, if you ever have the time to play this wonderful game, you most certainly should. Because right now, it’s the only reason to buy a PS3. Haha, that was a joke… of course… 

    3. Kingdom Hearts II, Abbreviation: KH2, Platform: PS2 ( play station 2), why is it on here? 
    Ok, if I explained this game to someone who’s never heard of it before they would roll their eyes. The thought of playing side by side Disney characters in an action game doesn’t sound all the appealing at first. 
    But then you play it, and your mouth drops. The one thing I loved about kingdom hearts 2 was the simple fact that it didn’t require to play the first one. On top of that, the controls were remarkably easy to learn. The game play is wonderful as is the story line. Though it can get slow and stupid at some points, Kingdom Hearts makes up for it with its dramatic end. 
    It has your main character Sora fight a slew of crazy bosses right along side your best friend, and rival, Riku. Its amazing, it makes you tear and gassy. Ok not really, but this fun, cool, and addicting game is definitely worth your time. If your new to role playing games this would be a good place to start. 

    4. Shadow Of The Colossus, Abbreviation: you can figure it out, Platform: PS2, why is it on here? 

    Shadow of the Colossus is actually fairly recent in my blood stream. But once I played it I knew it would be sticking with me for the rest of my life. Its marvelous landscapes makes your heart stop. 
    And then, to top off its beauty, the creators decided to add them, the Colossi… Theses fricken giant monsters that make you look like an ant. 
    Guess what the whole point of the game is? That’s right, you need to fight them. That’s the whole game, You literally climb the Colossi’s massive bodies so you can stab them in there vital points. 
    That’s it, that’s the entire game. There is no enemies getting in your way of the colossus, its just you and the giant monsters. 
    Its simple, its easy, and its ending will make you wonder about your life’s meaning. Though there isn’t much dialogue in the game it really isn’t necessary. The story unfolds in your mind and when its all said in done at the end, you just wish it could’ve lasted longer. 
    This is by far one of the best video game endings I’ve ever seen. If you can, go find this game for nine dollars and play it, because it will change your life. 

    5. Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core, Abbreviation: FFVII:CC, Platform: PSP ( WTF does that mean?  That stands for play station portable if your new to this.)  Why is it on here? 

    Alright, lets not lie there are a lot of great final fantasy games with epic endings. Why did I pick this one above all the rest? Well, lets first just start with what its even about. 
    To put it shortly, you’re a dude names Zack, this game is the prequel to Final Fantasy seven and it shows how your friend, Zack, Dies. That’s right, you play this game, and at the very end, you die. 
    You know its coming too. You know your end is near, and the game makes you play through it. All the way to the end, it has to fight till your last breath. Its epic, its heart wrenching, and that’s why I put it on here. 


    There is so many more we could cover, but already I’ve gone over my talk limit. So, until next time people, keep safe, and don’t let Raiden in your house. Because he will eat all your food, that’s not a lie. 

    Comment if you’d like, later - Axel 

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

  • Stop Breathing My Air! - The End Of The World As We Know It...

                                                                          

    Oh no! Its happened! The ice caps have melted, cat’s have banned together to rebel against us, Sephiroth has awoken from his wake!!!

    the world as we know it is no more! 

    Quick! Don’t just stand there with your mouth hanging open! Think of something! What should we do? Where should we go?! As I bombarded you with these pointless questions imagine that a blast of light has engulfed the planet, and thusly ceasing all existence as we know it. 
    Times have changed, but wait, we’re not dead… none of us are… 
    “What do I mean” You ask? Well what I mean is actually the topic for today’s blog. 
    Our world and dimension has now been thrown into that of fiction story book. You remember those things that your parents used to say weren’t real? They are now! 
    Santa roams the streets at night, abducting any of the bad children he hates. Animals can talk, given they’re part of a plot line. People can dodge bullets, kids can fly, and panda‘s really are cute and cuddly! 

    This is madness! 

    Madness? 

    No… 
    This! IS! Axel when he has nothing to write about. 

    Now here’s the question I want to ask you dear reader. In this new found land of complete fiction you’re bound to have some sort of power. Whether it be super strength, or the ability to eat large amounts of food. I know for a fact that you’re not going to be normal anymore. I mean come on! Your not an expendable crewmen that’s going to get killed in battle right?  That’s someone else’s job. 

    Run this scene through your head. Your walking home from a hard day of work, bag slung over your back. Suddenly you spot an angry horde of… uh… lets see… for the lack of a better enemy we’ll just say Orks. So, angry Orks are about to attack your village. Your eyes widen and your bare your teeth. 
    “ Come on really?” You mumble to yourself as you race towards your home. Just as you do an old man you call Jack rushes up to you. 
    “ Reader!” He shouts, “ Reader come to me!”  You do as your told and race over to his side.
    “ Old man Jack! What’s going on?! Why is this happening?!!” 
    Old Jack smiles, “ Let me tell you why…” 
    “ SHUT UP! I don’t really care, just tell me how to beat these things.”  
    “ You have to use your powers, you have to fight them with your awesome ability reader.” Bob says calmly. You look down at his chest and notice a stab wound. 
    “ Dude, your bleeding.” You state plainly. 
    “ Yes… I know… my time is coming.” 
    You look all around a little surprised, “ Jack, how did you get a stab wound? The monsters haven’t even attacked yet. No ones even outside…” 
    “ READER!” Jack yells as he grabs onto your collar. “ Listen to my final words.” 
    Your eyes shift uncomfortably, “ Yeah Jack… what is it?”
    Jack smiles and uses his last breaths to speak to you, “ We’ve… managed… to avoid drowning…”  After Jack says this he goes limp in your hands. You stare at him for a moment.  
    “ I will avenge you Jack.” You say as you rise up slowly. By now the Orks are near to your town. 
    And now you must fight, using your powers. 

    Wait? What’s that you say? You don’t know what your powers are?! Well that’s the whole point of this scenario man! If you were in a fictional land where pretty much everything is possible. What kind of power/weapon/ style of fighting would you posses?! 
    I already know what my talents would be, and let me tell you they are sick… so sick in fact that last time I told someone they came down with the flu, pneumonia, the common cold, the plague, and chicken pocks at the same time. 
    So for the sake of your health I will not tell you my awesome powers. But don’t let that stop you from making your own, bide your time and come up with an amazing power chart, oh, but there is some rules you have to follow dear Reader.

    1. Make sure that you don’t make yourself invincible, because that’s just gay, and in this world of fiction you die immediately if you do that. 
    2. Anything stronger than super saiyan two is out of the question unfortunately. Something like that just doesn’t exist in this realm.
    3. You can be pretty much anything you want. The only thing you can’t be is God, sorry, that position can never be taken. 
    4. No copying other powers directly. By that I mean you cant say things like, 

    “I want to be just like Sora and have a key blade!” 

    Sorry, in this world you need to come up with your own weird stuff. You can have a key fork, or even a key gun. But since key blade already exists, its off limits. 
    5. Have fun with this, share your power list via comment if you’d like. Or, if you just want to keep that info to yourself that’s fine to. 
    Well I hope this stimulates your brain and keeps you on the edge of your seat. Remember, be safe, and eat plain strawberry pop tarts, cause they’re the best. 

    Till next time - Axel 

    ( Like what your reading? Really?! Well then go ahead and subscribe to this mess I write, maybe then I’ll actually stop tagging you.) 

Monday, 10 August 2009

  • What Does That Even Mean?! How To Pick Up A Bf/Gf Awesome Style

     



    Disclaimer- (Before I even begin I’d just like to say that if your planning on taking this blog seriously, just don’t. For the love of your parents just don’t do it. If you do chances are you’ll get angry, or worse, Chuck Norris...) 

    I was sitting in my swivel chair trying to figure out what to write about, surprisingly I couldn’t come up with much. So I drank some orange juice, that didn’t help. Then I decided to go and play Devil May Cry 4, that didn’t help either. Finally I decided it’d be best just to lie on the cold tiles of my bathroom and contemplate life. 
    That’s when I got a phone call from my good buddy Raiden, and when I say good buddy, I mean he’s one of those friends you only hang out with around other people. 
    I answered my phone and when I saw it was him I let out a groan. Then, begrudgingly, I answered, “ Hello?” 
    “ Axel? Is that you?!” Raiden asked in an overly dramatic tone. 
    “ Yes… it’s me Raiden, why are you calling?” 
    “ We’ve managed to avoid drowning!” 
    “… oh… ok…” Me and Raiden then talked for hours about Metal Gear and the poker game we had with Solid Snake. Eventually I got around to asking him for some ideas on what to write about. He laughed his retarded laugh and then entered my house. 
    Yeah… turns out that Raiden had been standing outside my front door the entire time we were talking. 
    “ Axel! I have the perfect idea for you.” He said as he ran up my stairs and did a no hands cartwheel. 
    “ Do you now.” I responded getting up from my bathroom floor and walking over to him. “ Well, what is it?” 
    “ Lets tell those people you annoy one face book how to pick up a Boyfriend and or Girlfriend.”  Raiden flipped his blonde hair went into an odd pose. It made me wish Snake was around. 
    “ Alright… yeah lets do that. Will you leave when we’re done?” 
    “ No way! I’m going to hang around all day!” 
    When you hear Raiden say something like that, it just makes you want to shoot yourself. 
    “ Ok, lets just get to work.” 

    So with the help of Raiden I have composted a simple list that will help anyone get themselves a soul mate, and its as easy as one two three! Well, not so much. But still… lets just get going with this:

      One!
    - When you spot someone you like, always follow them for at least a week. Lurk and in their shadows and figure out everything about them. Make sure your stealth level is high though. If you get caught everyone in the area will go into alert phase and you’ll lose sight of your map temporarily. 

    Two!
    - Once you find you have enough intel on your soon to be spouse, go in for the kill. You don’t take no for an answer, even if you get a restraining order you do not stop. If worse comes to worse use your CQC throw to daze them, then inject your nano machines into their blood stream. This will insure that when they regain consciousness, they’ll only have eyes for you. 

    Three!
    - If they have a boyfriend and or girlfriend, kill them. Competition must be eliminated as soon as possible. Try remembering the basics of CQC  before you do.

    Fourth Place!!
    - Don’t take them on a “Date” take them on a “Mission”  Introduce them to your intelligence department, teach them the basics of CQC, have them get shot a few times. All that good stuff. 

    Fifty!
    - Long cut scenes are the key to a healthy relationship. Make sure that you talk to your spouse for at least two hours at a time. This doesn’t mean have a conversation for two hours. When I say talk, that means you just rabble useless information to them until they try to skip the scene. Make sure that you’ve disabled their ability to skip the cut scenes, you want to make them cringe in their seat. 
    They may hate you then, but in the future they’ll love you forever. 

    Trigun!
    - Make sure you say quotes that don’t make any sense, for example, “ Only a true star can form in the depths of the otherworld… but to bring it to light… well… that’s a whole other story.”  While you say these odd blurbs make sure you have a deep and cold voice. Also, make sure you walk around a lot too. Its best if you do quote combos actually, saying one meaningless thing after another. It will for sure have anyone from the opposite sex yearning to date you.

    Rule Raiden!
    - Remember,  in order to woo your gf you’ll need to deliver at least one brain twisting boss battle. What does that mean you ask? Simple, imagine this. Joe or Jill come home from work, the lights in their house is off. 
    Then you emerge out of the shadows. Make sure you monologue for six hours first, ensuring that their brains already straining before you even begin the fight. 
    Then, let them have it. Make them collapse to the floor in agony, make them throw their hands up in aggravation! 
    Have their every attack do nothing to you, and have their house pretend like its going to collapse several times. Act like you forgot who you are, make them come close to you, then strike. 
    Have them battle you for weeks on end till finally one of their friends says, 
    “ Dude, you have to plug your controller into the second controller port in order to beat him.”  
    Then they’ll reply, “ WHAT CONTROLLER PORT?!” 

    Rule the last one…
    - When they do break up with you for being a freak, make sure you have a final fight with them on top of some place high, and in the sunset. Unfortunately you’ll have to lose, but don’t make it to easy for them. 

    And that’s it! I hope Raiden and my advice will help you get yourself a loved one. And if you already have one I hope this advice helps bloom your relationship even further.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I guess me and Raiden are going to watch Pokemon 7… and… ugh… Tyra Banks…

    Till next time - Axel 

Saturday, 08 August 2009

  • What Does It Take To Be Epic?

    When I say epic, what do you think of? Do you think of the final boss in Metal Gear Solid Three? Do you think of the movie The Dark Knight? Maybe you think about the conclusion to the Harry Potter series. (By the way if you really think the ending to Harry Potter was epic just go sit in a corner until you realize the truth.)
    Perhaps you think about dragons, maybe you don’t really know what to think of so you go look up the definition for epic in the dictionary. 
    That’s what I did, because truth being told we use the word epic so freely these days its hard to really know what is epic and what isn’t. In the dictionary they say epic means, 
    very large or heroic: impressive by virtue of greatness of size, scope, or heroism. 

    (Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.)

    … Ok… so… does that mean anything epic is very big and related to heroes? Kind of. Let me try to break this down in similar words. Something that’s epic makes your mouth drop. Or, to put it in better terms, Something that’s rams nothing but amazement and awe in your face. 
    It’s large, either in size or by feeling, Its heroic, its inspiring, its story is phenomenal. 
    Something that’s epic draws your emotion, something that’s epic makes you want to get off your butt and do something with your life. 
    Now I know what your saying, “ Alright Axel, that’s great… more useless info you tagged me with. So what’s the point of all this?” 
    Well little man let me tell you the point of all this. I want you to ask yourself a question, is your life… epic? 
    Does your life make people go, “ WOW! Did you see that man?! That guy that just ran past us?! DID YOU SEE HIM?! That guy was… epic… so… epic…” 
    If your answer is no then your just like me. For the most part, everyone in the world has a relatively un epical life. So in order to combat this horrible wave of bland and dull lifestyles I have developed a list. 
    This list is going to change your life, follow these rules and your life will go from being average to … epic. 

    Number one!
    - Always carry around a sword, always! If you do chances are monsters will attack, or police officers… either way your life will become epic relatively quickly. 
    Number Two!
    - Grow your hair out long and drape it over your face. This is going to make you look mysterious, and as we all know mystery is epic. Not only that, but it will attract the opposite sex perfectly. No one can resist a partially blind awesome person carrying around a sword. 

    Number Three!!!
    - Act as if you’ve have some sort of super power, or your really good at fighting. Not only will this make you look awesome, but it will also make everyone around you angry. 
    Thus leading to more epic battles, 
    Thus you using your weapons more, 
    Resulting in people talking about you all over the world, 
    And concluding in the opposite sex being that much more attracted to you. 

    Number Squared!
    - Always, always, ALWAYS! Carry weapons in pairs. You may ask, why? Well lets take a look at the awesome epic people who don’t. 
    In devil may cry 4 Nero only carries one pistol while Dante carries two. Guess who comes out the victor? Yeap, Dante. 
    In Gun Grave, the main character gets shot to death because he only has one pistol. But then he comes back, and guess why he wins? That’s right, because he brings two pistols instead of one. 
    Remember that one dude in The Last Samurai? You don’t? Oh I know why, that’s because he was only using one sword instead of two. Getting the picture? 
    Just remember though, if you are going to have two weapons you have to work on your poses while you shoot or fight, otherwise you’ll be killed quickly. 

    Number Five!
    Understand that you’re the main character of the world! Ok, I know what your thinking, 
    “ Only one person can be the main character Axel.” And I know that, its not me, its you! You’re the main character. 
    You know that means? That means you cant die! That’s right, your invincible. Well… at least you can’t die till the dramatic climax of your storyline. Still if your fighting some sort of sub boss there’s no need to worry. Cause you’ll come out on top no matter what. Even if you die you can just use the continue button. 

    Number Omega!
    Make sure that your clothing separates you from the rest of the crowd. I don’t care if that means you have to walk around naked, 
    Beowulf did it, You just might have to as well. 
    Just remember that if you look like everyone else, there’s absolutely no way you can be epic. But a word of caution before you do anything crazy. When I say make your clothing different, that doesn’t mean dress up like a freak. 
    That means you want to dress up in a unique and attractive manner, thusly attracting the opposite sex and also making everyone say, “ WOW… that guy/girl is epic.” 
    Need some idea’s for clothing? well here you go, 

    http://media.photobucket.com/image/devil+may+cry+wallpaper/dante_vergil_3/devil%20may%20cry/dmc4wallpaperallcharacters.jpg?o=51 

    http://www.obscurehorror.com/constantine.jpg 

    http://www.canmag.com/images/front/movies20074/beowulf2.jpg 

    http://www.moviewallpapers.net/images/wallpapers/2005/v-for-vendetta/v-for-vendetta-2-1024.jpg 

    http://images.wikia.com/twewy/images//5/5c/Minamimoto.jpg 

    Sorry if those didn’t help, guess that means you’ll need to think of something else. So that’s it, I could continue talking but… this has gone on far too long. Questions? comments? Go ahead and fire them off. Just remember to stay cool, and stay epic. 
    Till next time - Axel 

ACID35

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    • Name: adam
    • Location: Grayslake, Illinois, United States
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 1/18/2006

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